All those things that aren't told…
by a-World-of-Manea
Summary: English version of "Toutes ces choses qui ne sont pas dites." Nobody pays attention to Jade Mikaels. She's invisible, but only because it can save her life. Being a Mudblood in Slytherin house, you see, isn't easy. Even more so when you develop eating disorders...


**All those things that aren't told…**

Everybody knows Hogwarts. The gorgeous magical school lost in the mysterious and misty moors of Scotland.

Everybody knows Albus Dumbledore, its Headmaster. The most powerful wizard of them all. The wisest also.

Everybody knows Harry Potter. Only hope of witches and wizards all around the world against the Dark Lord since his first ever birthday.

But who will remember Jade Mikaels?

Petite brunette with grey eyes, she doesn't attract much attention. Oh, sure, she's pretty, but… have you seen Fleur Delacour? Or Daphne Greengrass? Those popular girls attract attention. Jade is nothing next to them.

She's smart too. But she's in the same year as Hermione Granger. You get it right?

Jade had a perfectly normal childhood. A loving mother who stayed at home until she entered Hogwarts – she returned to her job as Italian teacher then –, a father with whom she spent all of her Sunday afternoons riding her bike – PE teacher of course –, and a big brother – Lucas – ten years older than her.

It had been a surprise for everyone when she received her letter for Hogwarts. Her parents had believed it to be an elaborate joke, but the letters had continued to come, until an old woman with an odd sense of fashion had knocked on their door one day. She had introduced herself as Minerva McGonagall, a witch, and a teacher at Hogwarts. It was good enough for Jade. Her eyes were already full of stars and her imagination running wild with images of her creating rainbows and candy rains out of nowhere.

Jade's entire family had gathered for a meal the day before her first day of school. Lucas, who had taken more time to accept the situation, was reluctant at best to see his little sister disappear to someplace he couldn't keep an eye on her. He made her promise to write, which warmed Jade's heart – at least she was sure to have a use for Stella, her little owl which her parents had given her for Hogwarts.

It was during that family dinner that their grandmother confessed to the rest of them that she had always known Jade would get a letter for the magical school. She had received it herself when she had turned eleven but her father had been dead set against it.

The next day was time for Jade and her parents to depart for King's Cross. Crossing the Platform 9 ¾ was a blast for the young girl; her father however, had not been a fan. Jade kissed both her parents, promised to write every day or so and waved at them through one of the windows when the train started.

Not knowing anyone, she pulled her luggage behind her while looking for a compartment where she could spend the next hours. She found one in which were three other girls who didn't know anybody either and invited her in kindly.

When the train arrived at Hogwards, Jade hoped to be in the same house as Lisa, one of the girls she had just befriended. She had read a few things about the different houses that the professor McGonagall had talked about when she had come to her, and all seemed very interesting to join.

Finally sitting on the stool, the Sorting Hat on her head whispered that she was eager to prover herself, that her ambition and independence would take her far, and needed only a word to change her destiny: "SLYTHERIN!" he yelled. The polite applause that followed told her where she was supposed to go sit, and she did, a smile on her lips, despite the low whispers she caught without understanding neither the meaning nor the danger: " _Mudblood_."

Jade found out with bitterness that magic couldn't nor wouldn't save her from inequalities or the unfair hierarchy that reigned behind the closed doors of Slytherin. Mudboods in the snakes' house was rare and loathed. The girl quickly learned to keep her mouth shut when needed – especially if Draco Malfoy and his friends were around. She shared – and would share for the next six years – a dorm with Millicent Bullstrode, Daphnee Greengrass, Helen Moore and Pansy Parkinson. Helen was the only Half-blood, all the others were Pureblood. Helen's father was a Pureblood but her mother was a Half-blood. Quite frankly, Jade didn't understand at all those odd blood status. The only thing she understood was that she was the only Mudblood in the dorm (maybe even in the all house of Slytherin?) and that meant that she would have to learn to lower her gaze and to be invisible.

She saw everything happening from afar during her third year. She watched as Harry Potter won his Quidditch games, she learned to stay away from Draco when he would rage and rant about how Potter had once again stolen the attention that should have been on him, as though it was some kind of birth right. She witnessed the bravery of the so-called Boy-Who-Lived when she heard, during the breakfast of her second year that he had saved a student in the Chamber of Secrets, and had once again defeated Voldemort – or the Dark Lord depending on how you preferred to call him. She felt admiration rise in her when she saw Potter during a Quidditch game produce a full corporeal Patronus that he launched on false Dementors; all the while loving every minute of seeing a scared, scattered Draco Malfoy being unceremoniously scolded by McGonagall. The hope that went all throughout her body when she heard of the rumor that the Mudblood Hermione Granger had punched the Malfoy boy was exhilarating and she wondered for a brief second if she could go see the Granger girl for more details. She quickly abandoned the idea, though, for she was a Slytherin and no Gryffondor is ever friend with a Slytherin. And no Slytherin is ever friend with a Mudblood.

And Jade was both Slytherin and Mudblood.

The young brunette, at the start of her third year, to talk to Roxanne Tilson, the only other Mudblood of her house. She was a fifth year at the time and snapped at her to never come near her again. Then, in a hushed and softer whisper, had said to Jade that from now on she would have to accept to be alone.

And yet, Jade never said a word of what was going on to her parents or brother in the many letters she sent them, along the many wizardly sweets she bought for them. In return, she would always receive her mother's delicious cakes. Her letters were always filled with joy; she would talk about her days – what she had learned in class, what she was doing with her wand now – and when she would come home for the vacations, she would act as if everything was perfect in school.

It had become tougher for Jade's fourth year. Was it gluttony or loneliness, depression or lack of friends that had pushed her to turn to food? She didn't know, but she knew that her parents had to buy her new clothes to start school. Her mom had nicely told her to watch what she was eating, and maybe, if her schedule allowed it, do some sport. Her roommates were less sympathetic. Even though Millicent was twice as big as Jade was, they all mocked her cruelly when it was time to put on their pajamas. Jade then took the decision to lose a few pounds. She would have the time anyway, what with the Triwizard Tournament happening right now and everybody focusing on it, Jade would have time to go run in the park.

And everything went according to plan. Well, for her, not really for Harry Potter who took all the attention when becoming a champing against his will. Every morning Jade would get up two hours sooner than her roommates, would put on the muggle sweatpants that she carefully kept away from her snobby roomies, then she would jog around the park and would come back just in time to take a shower and would only take for breakfast a sugar-free tea. With this treatment, it wasn't long she started to feel her clothes get too big.

Her mother had been shocked to see her during Christmas break. "You lost so much weight" she said to Jade. Her daughter had shrugged it away, reassuring her mother that everything was good, she needn't worry, and _of course_ she would tell her if it wasn't. When, the night following the Christmas meal, she threw up on purpose, she kept it to herself.

It was Jade's new routing. Putting tight clothes to see her bony body, then hide it under a wizard school uniform, the restrictions always followed by cravings she would lose control then throw up. But again, Jade kept it to herself.

Slytherin can ask for help if necessary. But Mudblood shut up.

When her sixth year started, Jade – like many others – felt the change of atmosphere. Her routine was still the same – classes, homework, restrictions, sport, lying letters to the family and inexistent social life – but the feeling of imminent danger made it clear that things were about to change.

When she lost consciousness in a corridor one day, she accused exams stress and the tiredness that came from studying so much and the nurse believed her. Not once did she mention the tea she had taken for sole breakfast, or the lunch she _hadn't_ taken, or even the four muffins she had quickly shoved in her own throat before vomiting them even quicker. She didn't talk about her hair that had started to fall a little, or her periods that were a no-show for months now. When Madam Pomfrey asked her if she had lost some weight, Jade lied like a pro. "Yes," she said, "but only because I went skiing with Mum and Dad during vacations, and it's very physical." The nurse, knowing next to nothing about ski and muggle sports in general had believed her.

Dumbledore's death was a shock for Jade. Not so much emotionally, no. She had never met him – she had never even talked to her House Director apart from a short meeting at the end of her fifth year. Nonetheless, Dumbledore had been an important pivot and protection for Mudbloods like her.

When she returned home, Jade was seventeen. Now of age in the wizardly word, she convinced her parents that with everything going on, it would be wise to move to Auckland, New-Zealand, where her father's cousin lived. They were reluctant to the idea up until a bridge and a tunnel exploded, effectively killing hundreds of Muggles. And at the moment she should have been inside the Hogwarts Express, she was instead looking through a plane's window, direction Auckland.

During that year, Jade left completely the magical world behind her. She continued to practice her magic at home – very discretely, though – but never did she speak the name of her school, any of her classmates' names, of the Chosen One's or the Dark Lord's. New-Zealand was untouched by Britain's war and Jade wouldn't jinx it.

Unfortunately, Jade passed out again and this time was brought to a muggle hospital after having hit her head pretty hard on the ground. Even though she didn't have any concussion, the family was told about her eating disorders. "You hadn't realized?" was the insensitive question thrown by one of the nurses to her parents' faces. Not understanding, they looked at each other helplessly.

Jade learned months later, while still in the hospital in a specialized section for patients with eating disorders, that the war had ceased in England. Harry Potter had won. He was alive. The Dark Lord was dead. She could go home.

" _But, have I ever had a home?_ " she asked herself the moment she felt her respiration become uneven, her heart slowing up and racing at the same time. She saw without understanding people around her moving in a slower pace, her parents kneeling next to her on the floor.

And when she felt for the very first time a striking pain in her left arm and going straight to her heart, her mother delicately touching her face and her father holding her hand, she realized that she had had a home all along: _her family_.

 _ **Ok, so this was my first fanfiction and the English version of "Toutes ces choses qui ne sont pas dites". If I ever write another story, I'll try to put both French and English version, maybe German version maybe if I've got the time ^^ So it's the first story I dared putting on FF, I hope you liked it in spite of the end, thank you for reading it**_

 _ **P.S. And my apologies for any mistake I may have made!**_


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